Hear my words and understand me.
Experiencing Abidaba is like playing a video game verses being inside it; it is a virtual reality where all my senses are heightened to their truest potential. I can fly through the clearest crystal sky, stick out my tongue and taste the sweet moisture of clean clouds. I can feel the ions in the atmosphere around me colliding playfully, charging, and exhilarating the cells of my skin. I can lie in grass that is softer than feathers while the ground cradles me. It is there that her voice drips to me like honey from a beehive, or rages in a waterfall or blows in a gentle spring breeze.
Compared to that, life here seems like an old game of Pac-Man. Yet, there is a place still beyond Abidaba where virtual reality becomes the real reality, where the Author, she, who is me incarnate, writes her story for the world. It is that place I long to go.
How does one live in this world, after tasting the next? How does one make this her home when she knows her real place is beyond the limit of language to describe?
I have to tell you about the bleak place I sometimes find myself in, and truthfully, I have been going there more and more. It is a sorrow that overcomes me and saps my strength. My will to move forward is waning. My head throbs with intense pains, the like of which weakens me to my core. Her voice to me echos from afar and I chase after it, but in truth I grow weary. My allies here grow less and less. The East is a thorn in my side with their old dogmas and stubborn defiance of my ways. My own family sees my weakness and tries to destroy me.
How does one emulate the Author? It is simple: you write yourself. You tell yourself, I am strong, I am happy, I am well, I can carry forward, and thereby, you are able to become these things. I know I can write myself a new story in which I do not let myself feel overcome by the burdens of this life. Unlike you, my characters, I have seen beyond and I am from there. This is not my home and I can feel my body prepare to leave. I can write myself to stay, but I can also write myself to go.
You never question anything, my characters. You take in so much information, but you never stop to think about it. How could I only be forty when I have been ruling for over forty years? How is that possible? Time is inconsequential to me and yet I have chosen a timeline and never diverted from it, despite the passing of years; I have chosen an age and have stayed here. You trust me explicitly, even when logic tells you otherwise. Yes, I am old and have lived longer than I should have done.
PART 12 COMING Soon!!!!
Thank you so much to all the bloggers who have visited my site and “liked” my writing. I can’t tell you how much it means to me and how encouraging it has been. Thank you very much, ~ Hannah
If you are new to my blog, please check out the Video Page for links to hear me read Parts 1-11 for you or follow the links below to catch up on some reading!